On a need to know basis

1. Do you still know/talk to the person you lost your virginity to?
Sure.

2. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons
keep them in my purse

3.What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Kenny rogers, thank you parents, NKOTB, vanilla ice, etc

4.What is the best thing about your current job?
the kids are damned entertaining

5. Do you wish cell phone etiquette was a required class upon purchasing one?
YES!!!

6. Are you against marriage?
Nope.

7. Why?
cuz i ain't got a prenup ;-)

8. What's the most fucked up food combination you've come up with that's actually tasty?
egg noodles and french dressing...don't say anything

9. Where are you going on your next vacation?
the world is my oyster

10. Quote a song lyric
Ah ha, hush that fuss
Everybody move to the back of the bus
Do you wanna bump and slump with us
We the type of people make the club get crunk


11. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
how old is old? i have friends from high school, college, post college

14. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
no

15. Are you ashamed of having it?
terribly

16. What do you wish someone would buy you?
the white house.

17. What do you think of hipsters?
keep on keepin on

18. What are you wearing right now?
brown sweater and red pyjama pants w/ scottie dogs scattered across them...why do you care?

19. When is the last time you had mom's home cookin'?
parent's anniversary party last month

20. Do you like your parents?
love them b/c i have to, like them? not so much

21. What state/country are you from?
Born in oxford ohio, lived in indiana

22. Do you ever wish you were gay/straight?
should i?

23. Tell us about the last conversation you had.
does my husband look good in a suit. the answer is yes. so good in fact that my really trashy aunt commented about how sexy he looked in a suit at my grandmother's funeral.

24. Where do you see yourself in one month?
becoming the next communist leader of china, what else?

25. What is your favorite smell?
old books!

26. Home Depot: pure evil or pure genius?
pure genius

27. Do you consider yourself bi-polar?
not in the least, my mood swings are completely predictable

28. Are you good looking?
every waking moment

29. Religion?
whatever floats your boat. but you better not be hypocritical about it!

30. What is the time and the outside temperature at the moment?
6:07 pm and really fucking cold


Now, aren't you glad you read through that all?

Halloween is here!

Who doesn't love halloween? Did any of you see the article on CNN about the woman whose hangin body was mistaken for halloween decoration? It sounds crazy, but everyday on the way home from work I pass a 'hanging man' decoration. Interestingly enough, there is a towel hanging over the decoration's 'head'. Why? I couldn't say.

We had a halloween dance at school today. It was super fun. Also, made me realize that if I took dance lessons for the rest of my life, I will never dance as well as these kids do. The librarian I work with was the DJ and we spent all morning listening to songs the kids would like to see if they were school appropriate. My one CD of hip hop songs had 16 tracks and not a one of them appropriate. Ah well.

The dance went well. One teacher put on YMCA, which the kids tolerated, but there was a near riot when the Ghostbusters theme was played. :-) All in all, a good day.

What are you going as for halloween? Brent is going to be a civil war zombie and I'm going to be the absinthe fairy. Pictures to follow. Happy haunting!

I promised humor...

The kids at our school like to meld the adult world they are forced to live in with the childlike aspects of their personalities that they can't escape. Here is a prime example:

My friend works with in the special ed classroom. This includes children who are: schizophrenic, bi-polar, autistic, emotionally handicapped (i.e. behavior problems) ADHD, etc, etc. Its a catchall room. Their are about 30 kids in the room. They were working on a project making cutouts of their profiles. You know, the teacher uses the overhead projector to create a shadow on a piece of paper which they then trace. These kids had to cut out their picture and paste it onto a different color of paper. Here's an exchange between students. It involves a catchphrase that I hope you will all use liberally.

Student 1: What color do you want?

Student 2: I want pink motherfucker!

Say it to yourselves, its oddly poetic. I WANT PINK MOTHERFUCKER!

Where do we go from here?

Dear reader, you may have noticed how little I have blogged of late. I must admit that I have felt adrift of late, not sure what to discuss now that most of my life is devoted to work. I have since decided that the fates must not be argued with, so I am going to begin postings on what it is that I do all day long. That's right. I'm going to regale you with tales from an urban school setting. Fear not! I promise intrigue and danger, sex and lasciviousness, drugs and urban warfare, sadness and moments of humor.
Here goes:

I work in the library at a middle school in indianapolis. I also student teach in the same school. The children I work with are almost universally poor and deal with trauma that I can't even begin to imagine. I am wary about asking students how they got that scar crawling up their arm lest they tell me the truth. This is one of the hardest things to deal with as someone who can love even the meanest of children. Legally I am required to inquire about injuries and report anything suspicious, but I must tell you a dirty little secret: NOBODY CARES. I was talking to the special ed teacher today about abusive situations and she told me that the state rarely takes a child out of their home situation unless its sexual abuse. Horrifying? I know. I know what she says is true because I have witnessed it first hand. I reported to the school social worker a boy whose arm was covered in bruises that I heard him say his grandmother gave him. He said that this kid was a troublemaker. (the implication being that he probably deserved it.) At the current school I'm working at, a teacher reported a girl covered in bruises to the social worker. The girl said her mother did it. The social worker said that the girl ran away from home over the weekend and her mother was probably angry. Nothing was done. The sad thing is that even if the children are taken out of their homes and put into foster care, they are still at risk for physical and sexual abuse. (Indiana's foster care system is in shambles and numerous children of late have even died whilst in state custody)

I would bet that at least 60 to 70% of our kids could identify a family member or close friend who has died from violence. They all seem to be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. As a person who will be teaching in this environment and has worked in this environment for a few years, I can understand how inner-city teachers become disillusioned and disheartened. It is hard as a teacher in this position to see the fruits of your labor. A businessman can count on quarterly results, but teachers must wait until a child has reached adulthood to see if their work has any meaning or impact.

These kids are all survivors and they bring to the table an amazing amount of life experience. They can be incredibly insightful and have so much personality that it would be hard to leave them. One teacher I know tried working in a suburban school and she said, "I had to leave because it was just...too white." I understand what she was getting at. These kids have a perspective that is unique and could bring so much to the world...if we can just get them to appreciate themselves.

I knew it all along!

Pure Nerd 91 % Nerd, 26% Geek, 26% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd . The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful. Congratulations! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Professional Wrestling Love & Sexuality America/Politics Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender : You scored higher than 98% on nerdiness You scored higher than 25% on geekosity You scored higher than 36% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

october 13

october 13
Originally uploaded by mmoster.

Its been awhile, I know. But its my 25th birthday and I feel I must blog. So I'm a quarter of a century today and I'm feeling old. I go to bed early and I sometimes say lame, teachery things to kids at school. I had a good birthday though. My mother in law took me to lunch whilst on the clock, got a cake and some presents and ended up at a bar with my dearly beloved and his brother. Elizabeth (her birthday is October 14) and I are planning a party for Saturday. Today I solemnly join the ranks of mid-twenties. I enter it older, wiser and, as always, ready to take over the world. Really, Emperor Melissa sounds natural, am I wrong? (I'm sure you'll allow a birthday girl her hubris, ahem) I'm awash with 25 years of experience and thought, consult me at your will...